Easing up on the melodrama, yet still maintaining a healthy level of embellishment, a chronicle of the acquisition of (new) backcountry skis can be similar in many ways to the classic mountaineering epic. This is one such story�

I don�t really know why I wanted new skis. With creative use of various boot, binding and skin combinations I have a quiver of three or four serviceable rigs (not counting the ones I keep around for sentimental reasons).

Why get more skis? If pressed, a clich� like �because it�s there� comes to mind�but skis are plural and �because they�re there� doesn�t sound quite as heroic. Suffice to say, it�s an inexplicable yearning or urge. For certain individuals, the very thought of new skis brings on an intense euphoria. Moaning and heavy breathing are two of the less embarrassing symptoms of this condition.

But it�s not all fun and games. There are challenges, especially if outside factors (often referred to as objective hazards) complicate the issue. Like, how does one add to one�s ski collection when one�s wife does not share one�s passion for the whole �mystique of the backcountry ski� thing? In this case, the key is to go in under the radar. The best times for acquiring more skis are the pre-season, the post-season or the off-season�when she least expects it. So when said skis emerge from their hiding place in the basement for their inaugural mission you say, �What? These? Oh, I�ve had these for a long time!�

The next step is to heed the old masters. Valuable lessons are learned from experienced mountaineers. A reoccurring theme is: Do more with less. That�s an abbreviated version of the actual phrase which is: Do more with less money. Nowhere is this more applicable then in the gear buying process.

With skis, a frugal strategy is to watch for retailer liquidations of �last year�s� or �discontinued� product. That�s how I got my beloved Snow Rangers and recently, a sexually charged pair of Volants. Another approach is to monitor the bulletin boards and online equipment swaps for low mileage poser-gear, the supply of which is increasing at an exponential rate these days.

Yes, the times they are a changin� in the world of backcountry skiing. Maybe that�s why I decided that my next skis should hearken back to my roots�

Like many beginners to backcountry skiing my early outings were on rental gear. Soon the time came to take the plunge and buy in. One partner I was skiing with at the time pointed out that, for 100 bucks, perfectly good used skis could be picked up from local heli-ski mega-corp Canadian Mountain Holidays (CMH). Indeed, skis displaying the CMH logo mounted with AT or tele bindings are somewhat of a backcountry dirtbag badge of honour around here.

Seeking acceptance into the community, I went the CMH route. My first were skinny-assed Rossignols; after that came some of their �mid-fat� Atomics�now we were getting somewhere. But in recent years I have drifted to other sources.

�It was time for a renaissance. I put in a call to CMH head office; a couple of voice mails later I was talking to their warehouse guy in Banff. Things were picked over but he still had a few left, mostly 190s, the price was $250. OK, 190s were fine (my strategy with CMH skis had always been �go long�)�but the price tag! Oh well, it had been a while and CMH was now using big honking Volkls that were getting rave reviews from the unwashed masses. It was worth a look�maybe I could talk him down.

Everything was coming together nicely but I now had to slip out of the house (in Calgary) and get to Banff. Miraculously, an opportunity to make a midweek visit to Canmore on unrelated family business came up. It would be easy to pull off a quick side trip to CMH but there was one hitch�I was informed that Kid 2 was coming with me. No problem, a simple bribe (that�s why they invented McDonalds) would keep her quiet while daddy stopped at �the ski store�. My biggest concern was that the little rascal might rat on me about the skis when we got home. At this point I was willing to take that risk.

An aside to this story: In a cruelly ironic twist of fate it just so happens that the partner who, many years ago, clued me in about buying from CMH and my wife (who I now hide from like a criminal every time I get more skis) are the same person! Luckily, mountaineering pursuits help to build the strength of character needed to overcome such adversity.

Meanwhile, back in Banff�

At the warehouse the available inventory had indeed been depleted but it looked like the �buy long� strategy was going to pay off once again. One particular pair of 190s were bordering on the immaculate. It was time to negotiate.

�Can you let these go for two hundred?�

�The price is two-fifty.�

Hmmm�he didn�t seem to be familiar with the concept of �haggling�. I mumbled something about the hundred dollar Atomics and Rossis�just to make it clear that, oh yeah, I go way back. Unfortunately that didn�t make an impression.

It was looking like there�d be trouble if Kid 2 didn�t get a Happy Meal in the very near future so I mentally prepared to pull the trigger at $250. Still, in any bargaining process, it�s best to maintain a dialogue.

�How much without the bindings?� I asked. This was a stalling tactic as I knew from past experience what the answer would be.

�Same price.�

�Too bad� �cause I�m just going to take them off and put on touring bindings.�

�Well,� he said. �I do have some without bindings, there might be some 190s, but they�re from a couple seasons ago.�

Yes, he was beginning to grasp who he was dealing with here! We went over to where he kept the stragglers.

One set of tips caught my eye. I pulled them out from beneath a pile of short, sickly-looking specimens. The topsheets had the usual heli-basket handling blemishes and I recognized the dated blue and yellow graphics. For me, superficial imperfections were not an issue and as for the graphics, I�ve always had a soft spot for the �so bad, they�re good� variety. Oh, and the serial numbers didn�t match�but hey, just more good dirtbag karma.

On to the important stuff: No significant base trauma�workable edges�scientific flex test rating came in at �good enough for who they�re for�. I concluded it was highly likely that CMH had reserved these skis for the expert European powder 8s clientele only.

�Yeah, these look good. How much?�

It appeared as though a sympathetic air was coming over his demeanor. He was probably feeling sorry for this poor bastard (me) destined to hump these planks up countless Godforsaken skin tracks.

�Seventy-five bucks,� he said.

I struggled to contain my glee!

Shortly thereafter, my accomplice and I were on the Trans Canada headed back to Calgary�with our precious cargo onboard.

THE END




EPILOGUE

Once the initial excitement wore off, the hard realities of quiver expansion set in. Skins and bindings for this new set-up were going to cost several times the price of the skis alone. Any skins I already have don�t even come close to covering the real estate I will now have under foot. As for bindings, it could be asked, why not just pull a set off some of your other skis? Uhhh� no. On the bright side, there�s plenty of time to look for deals on that stuff. Here in Alberta I�m usually on the rock skis until mid-March anyhow.

For the record, my wife is a wonderful person and an excellent skier. She still enjoys getting out in the backcountry but for some strange reason is content with only one pair of skis.

Kid 2 is growing like a weed.

Tim