Canadian ski veteran, Jonas Delogne and Swiss freeski guru, Evariste Berney are my two other ski models present on the four hour bus ride from Calgary to Canadian Mountain Holidays Gothics lodge and look more the part of two ski pros off a one week luxury Heli trip in the Northern Selkirks. Puzzled and perplexed we can't help but stare at Noddy.






With mind numbing jet lag we indulge in little conversation and stare blankly out at the snowy peaks as our bus ride takes us through Canadas unbridled mountain wilderness. We pull into Goldstream River Valley, British Columbia, and are greeted by two meter snow banks and the noise of an eleven passenger Bell 212 chopper pulling into the front yard. The thick sound of air being pushed out from the jet propelled rotors jerks us back into the present. Noddy anxiously makes his way off the bus and into the ornate wood lodge looking to be unfettered from the dress he's been subject to for the past 48 hours.

With a permutation in wear we all meet up in the front yard to practice some avi-beacon drills and take a tour around whats soon to be out taxi for the week. Our guide, PY, with coke bottle spectacles and a runway goatee looks far from the part of one of Canadas most accomplished mountaineers. His philosophy is simple though and when ever someone mentions the word freestyle he blurts out: Òthe only time I grab my skis is when I'm chucking them in the heli. We're here to ski some freaking powder!






Noddy fled his brothers wedding in Auckland right after the speeches to make his flight to Canada in time for pick up in Calgary, he later clarifies. ÒI felt kind of guilty for doing a runner but my bru who just got married was threatening to take my spot if I didn't go. With the pieces of the puzzle in place, I still can't help but wonder if his brothers bride would have minded him filing in for Noddy.

Groups one, two and three are already lapping fresh powder as our crew boards the Heli and heads west into the Monashees. The sun is blaring and stability is at an all time high for the season as we climb over the majestic peaks that extend as far as the eye can see. CMH's playground between its 12 lodges is an area 40% the size of Switzerland. Our pilot, Rocky, a veteran in the chopper business, shows off his skills with what we later deem the most insane river runs of our lives. Twenty five meters from the ground he banks hair pin turns down the narrow river gorge inflicting what feels to be 2-3 Gs during a series of 7-8 bends and exits the run with a parabolic arch leaving our stomachs in our mouths. We look straight down through the side windows as caribou flee the riverbanks from our metallic bird praying above. We knew then that Rocky was the guy to get us to the goods.






It's only day 1 but we've already skied more powder than the entire season to date. P.Y leads us down a series of gladded runs in the morning to suss out our groups ability, signing his lungs out so we can track him thought the evenly spaced trees. The four of us bounce in and out of sight with out worry of ever crossing a track pillaging the forest of its fresh white blanket. It's up to the glaciers in the afternoon to chase up what the lead Heli has flagged out that morning. Hot on the tails of P.Y's skis he takes us up higher to terrain you only dream of. Confident that we are more than competent he has us lap a series of runs that break all the expectations ever conceived. Its 4 o'clock and our legs are burning!


If it wasn't for the guides tallying up the vertical meters at the end of each day I wouldn't be able to tell you how much we skied. Every run was out done by the next. The experienced CMH guides carefully acquaint you with mild and mellow in the mornings before unloading your group on a series of 1500-meter runs that will have every single muscle in your legs crying for a break. My knees ache but I still don't know if it's from the endless laps of virgin powder or crouching so many times for Rocky to pick us up.






Like the skiing, every meal seems to be better than the next and we are all starting to suffer the infamous Heli Belly that comes along with so much grub and so little hiking. Full buffets of hot and cold food lure us in at the end of each day. We've barely finished digesting lunch before the onslaught of calories re-commences. With a couple hours to kill between the after ski snacks and dinner, we dive into the hot tubs to make rest of our aching bodies. It's not long before Nods is throwing his mostly naked body off the balcony into the cold powder between sweat sessions.

Befuddled by the endless list of descents, we try and keep an account of what runs we like best each day but our guide PY keeps upping the ante with couloirs he later tells us have not been skied all season. Poling off he disappears over yet another powdery knoll yelling back, Make ten fifteen turns and cut hard left. I look to Jonas, Evariste and Noddy for reassurance but they're already pushing off to see what potential hucks and pillows lay beneath. Alone on top of the 40th something drop of the week I take in the vastness of our playground shared only by the other 40 skiers in the lodge. ÒIf it wasn't for that mad Austrian we wouldn't be standing here today,I think to myself.






A penchant for the mountains, Hans Gmoser, left Austria in the 50's to seek out a new life in the Canadian Rockies and is responsible for CanadaÕs biggest Heli operation today which covers a massive 15 765 square kilometers between it's 12 lodges. I'm not going to fill these lines with a mundane history lesson thoughÉyou can Google him if you want the full story. Instead I want to share with you the trip we'd prepared for since, well, since birth.

It's about 10 meters!PY yells, standing at the bottom of the drop Noddy is now preparing to send. I ski down and gauge that it's nearly double. It's closer to 18, I shout back, Òand it'll make a sick shot. Noddy slides down the spine leading to the take off sending a cascade of sluff before tucking up and sending himself into one of the most controlled monster airs I've ever witnessed. Skis on he charges out missing only a poll as PY and I look to each other as if to confirm that it was at least a good 18 meters. It'll make a sick shot? Nods yells back at me almost laughing, I was a little more concerned about the state of the landing than your shot.






Evariste and Jonas ski a short steep section laden with textured spines and drops. With Swiss precision, Evariste links turns down the face I would have anxiously repelled down gaining speed with every turn. Making ease of the spiny playground, he turns to watch Jonas follow his tracks. With feet and body completely airborne, Jonas tucks up through the section touching down only at the bottom in the most pristine powder transition a skier could dream of.

Back at the lodge we consult maps with the guides over a cold beer. We want to show people why CMH has some of the best skiing in Canada, I say to our hosts who still can't discern Noddy from me. Well you've picked the right week,Geoff, the head guide answers back. We're in for sun all week! Giving Noddy and I a hard look over he asks; Are you two brothers? Brothers from a different mother,Noddy sharply replies leaving more questions than answers.






If Canada isn't already famous enough for its insane snowfalls and French Canadian accents then it must be for its colossal glaciers that run for miles through valleys laden with caribou and wolf tracks. Endless runs, sometimes as long as 2000 vertical meters, roll around crevasse fields and frozen history becoming the norm after our noon time feed. Even for Calgary born poster boy Jonas, it is an ache in the side he can not ignore. His expressions of astonishment have even the guides wondering what was in his glacier picnic sandwich.

I won't lie to you. Not everything we skied was epic knee deep snow with a sustained pitch of 35-45 degrees. We did run into a bit of crust here and there and we even had to use our poles once or twice to push through a flat section. Generally lunch was spent on a remote glacier where all abilities of skiers could meet. Somewhere you could land the Heli and lay out a gourmet picnic. Not one of us cared though. We were exposed to so many unforgettable runs that the odd patch of crud or lonely pole push only made us realize how great we had it the other 90% of the time. To this day, even as I write this, I can not think of a better week of skiing in my life. I'm sure my doppelganger and other team mates would agree.






We scored huge! When you book a one-week Heli trip you spend 9 weeks prior to the trip praying to the gods for good weather and deep snow. In fact you'll probably spend more time on the net checking the stats then time with your partner making love. And it's because heli trips cost an arm and a leg. That's why CMH guarantees that youÕll get what you pay for. With 70% of its guests returning each year you better start looking online now for availability in 2008 mind you, thatÕs only if youÕre up for Rocky's heart throbbing flying, PY's non stop gags and an annual snowfall that beats most of Europes countries combined.